Sunday, October 4, 2009
REST IN PEACE AMMAH!
Today is the 12th death anniversary of mother, Rosemary Meenatchi Mariadass.
She was only 57 years old when she left us and it was indeed a young age.
I believe her health took the toll, when my brother Jeyaprakash Anthony passed in 1993.
She was so devastated by the death of my brother that she was never the same again.
Which mother will not be devastated to lose a 29-year-old soon. We all felt the pain, but my mother let his death take the toll on her.
Besides, Jeyaprakash was born five years after me and I was told that my mother was so upset that she not conceive a child after me. Thus, when Jeyaprakash was born on Nov 17, 1963, he was like a "golden child". Of until then I was the "golden child" that my nickname is Aja - short for Raja (King).
Although after Chinna (Jeyaprakash) my sister and two brothers were all born within the next five years, Chinna remained special to my mother.
So his passing away was something she could not handle, coupled with her other worries, her health suffered.
Today, I have lost my brother, mother and father who passed away two years ago. It has been a trying period for me too as the eldest child.
As much as life goes on, I certainly wished all three of them were still alive.Things would have certainly been different for me.
But I cannot do anything about it and just feel that it was my fate.
My ammah has always been a caring and loving woman who has made many sacrifices in bringing us up.
And again, I must say this, just like I said for Chinna, there was so much more I could have done for her.
So to all those who have aged parents and brothers who are alive, be grateful and thankful. You will not know what you have, until they are gone when it will be too late to make amends.
I had done to the best of my ability to both my parents and brother, but I just believe I could have done more.
Thus appreciate your parents and sibblings, although at times they may be persistence or testing your patience. They never meant meant any harm. It was all out of love.
As I chug along, now having my own children, I can't but help think if things were different. But I will not get the second chance and I can only pray for my mother, father and brother that they are in a more peaceful place and all their sufferings are rewarded with goodness.
I also pray that they look down on us on us once in a while and shine the guiding light upon us.
Rest in peace and may the lord grant you all eternal rest!
We all miss you ammah, appah and chinna!